Ibsen, in "A Doll's House," poignantly illustrates at least three concepts of marriage: marriage based on 1) fantasy, 2) practical security, and 3) the ideal (true) marriage. Nora and Torvald represent a marriage based on fantasy, neither of them know each other or themselves, are constrained by external expectation, and are merely married to the idea of marriage. The Widow Linde represents a sacrificial marriage for security (not uncommon for the time period, as women had very little option for supporting themselves). The new relationship of Kristine and Krogstad represent a union of equals, , which seems to be Ibsen's view of a true marriage:
"Mrs. Linde: I need to have someone to care fore; and your children need a mother. We both need each other. Nils, I have faith that you're good at heart-I'll risk everything together with you.
Krogstad (gripping her hands): Kristine, thank you, thank you-Now I know I can win back a place in your eyes."
I share Ibsen's view. The aspiration to be of "one heart and one mind" does not mean that spouses will be or should be identical. One gender does not have greater eternal possibilities than the other. The ideal marriage is a partnership with husband and wife equally yoked together, sharing in decisions, always working together.
In this sense equality in love is not only synergistic, but the secret recipe necessary for attainment of the highest forms of lasting peace, joy, and happiness. I recently enjoyed reading this principle from L. Tom Perry:
There is not a president or a vice president in a family. The couple works together eternally for the good of the family. They are on equal footing. They plan and organize the affairs of the family jointly and unanimously as they move forward. By virtue of this principle, both husband and wife have a sacred obligation to refrain from thoughts and actions that might undermine that equal partnership.
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